LBefore writing this article, I searched, and there was a question “Why do some people delete Moments frequently?” Here are some highly praised answers, mostly “golden sentences”:
The freshness period of the mood has passed.
Growing up is the process of constantly realizing how stupid your previous self was.
The noble and glamorous self of this second hates the ignorant and hypocritical self of the last second.
We are noncommittal about these answers. In fact, such a simple thing as posting/deleting Moments is dubbed as “pretending to be x” and “hypocritical”, and most of them tend to be derogatory. It implies a tacit notion: old postings in Moments is hypocritical and narcissistic, and not postings in Moments is noble and glamorous.
But below, we don’t want to judge the value of posting on Moments/Weibo/Talking about it. Just to discuss it simply, why do some people like to post to Moments frequently, and then delete them frequently?
The way of socializing in this era
Now almost all of our social circles have been transferred online, and some of them even exist only online. Among your WeChat friends, many people may not have said a word.
I added this person’s WeChat, as if there was an illusion of “approachable between me and Ta”, but in fact, the possibility of contacting Ta is infinitely close to zero. And after breaking away from the Internet, in the real world, the scene of meeting may be very awkward.
But we will still keep hundreds of people on WeChat, and maintain a weak relationship that can be contacted. For these relationships that never open the dialog box, the circle of friends is the place where others have their first impression of you.
Posting on Moments is a great way to socialize. Some people think that the current friendships are too superficial, and they are all “like friends”. However, there is nothing to criticize in itself. It is just a social method that has evolved with the advent of the Internet age.
I share, therefore I am
This is also an era of universal sharing. We need our own existence to be seen by others, so, I share, therefore I am.
We share our location, our current emotions and thoughts, the scenery in front of us, and an article, all of which are self-presentation processes.
By sharing these things on social networks, I show others who I am, what my views, my attitudes are.
As the answers at the beginning of the article said, I was emotional in the last second, and I desperately wanted to shout out my emotions to everyone, let everyone know how happy/desperate/lost/excited I am… We need to share the beautiful scenery during the journey with others. We want to tell others that we saw a beautiful young lady in the subway.
If in the past, I would make up a text message to a friend. But now, posting on Moments just changed the specific directional sharing to non-specific diffusion. And every like and reply is a positive feedback for self-display. Will encourage us to share further.
Why always post and delete?
Frequent posting/deleting Moments may be due to the following reasons:
1. Impression Management
In Moments, a person’s image can be edited. Ta can choose what kind of image to show to others, and can also show completely different images to different people by grouping.
A few years ago, an article “Miss S’s Circle of Friends” satirized this phenomenon of using the grouping function to the extreme. In different groups, the content posted is different, and friends in each group cannot see the content of other groups. Each group is a parallel world.
There is nothing wrong with creating parallel worlds. First, the purpose of impression management is to influence others’ perception of one’s own image through selective self-presentation. We need impression management, because no one wants or needs to see a person’s completely authentic self (after all, we need to make up a selfie after all).
In addition, besides being an independent individual, everyone also inevitably belongs to certain groups. These group identities (community identity) make us need to show ourselves some image that is consistent with this group.
For example, a company’s employees need to show that part of their personality that matches the company’s culture. If it is a Japanese company with a strict hierarchy, then the circle of friends may often post some photos of overtime work, accompanied by “the road is made step by step”. And in the group of fox friends and dog friends, dressing yourself as a pollution-free joke player is a choice that can never be wrong.
2. Narcissism and shame
Moments is a virtual public place, and your sharing behavior is seen by others, which is equivalent to being observed from a distance, and some of these gazes may contain hostility. Although Moments does not have the function of “anonymously pointing pooh”, this function exists in our hearts: the shame generated by the anticipation of hostile gaze is an important motivation to delete Moments.
The experience of exposure will cause a series of continuous and uncomfortable feelings, and the anxiety caused by “being observed” and “being evaluated” will increase the defense of narcissism.
Regardless of the superficial reason for deleting the circle of friends, in the final analysis, it is because we feel shame, which is extremely destructive and embarrassing. If you want to hide, it is best to disappear. If you can’t make yourself disappear, let the circle of friends disappear.
After I add new friends, especially those friends who we want to impress, I always feel an invisible pressure before posting to Moments.
Not only new friends, sometimes when I see some articles that are more extreme but in line with my point of view, when I want to share them, I will worry about whether there are people in the circle of friends who disagree with my point of view, and the point of view in this article Whether it will touch their “minefield”.
For example, I am actually a black fan of a domestic male star, but the male star’s fans are so powerful that I would never dare to provoke them.
some very immature advice
Since this is a friend circle decoration guide, I am obliged to give you some practical suggestions. By comparing the following points, you can definitely create a beautiful ideal self-image, at least it can live in the circle of friends.
First of all, from the time dimension, you can do a large-scale screening: Moments posted in the middle of the night, delete! Those few words and phrases sent when the brain is not clear, are either copied from somewhere, or mostly addressed to the EX who no longer cares about you.
Secondly, as long as there are sentences using exclamation points in the content, delete them! As a noble, glamorous and mysterious person, how can he use “!”, a symbol that reveals strong emotions. You want to create an image that exudes casual elegance and carelessness, remembering not to get involved in the slightest with high arousal human emotions.
Finally, the accompanying picture is a series of emoticons, delete it! Things like emoji packs are updated very quickly. Today, when Pippi Shrimp is popular, what qualifications do old-fashioned salted fish have to appear in the circle of friends! (It’s not that you don’t understand my interesting soul?) Always remind yourself that you are a person who is indifferent to everything, and the more popular things are, the less you can touch them.
After such a renovation, only art exhibitions, concerts (short videos of concerts are not acceptable…), Northern Europe’s aurora and cherry blossoms in Tokyo are left in your circle of friends, a cold and cold wind.
However, if everyone’s circle of friends became like this, how boring it would be.
I used to be under pressure when I posted on Moments, thinking that others would judge me because of different opinions, but after carefully posting a few times, I actually found that in this era of self-focus, no one cares what you post at all, you What did you say.
So the above suggestion is just a reference, and the last suggestion is to invite everyone to sing with me a Moments version of “Sing If You Want”:
“Post if you want to, if you want to post beautifully ~ even if no one likes me ~ at least I can ~bravely appreciate myself~ang~”